Thank you <3 <3
I have a Zelo scenario on the pending list under “my own ideas” which I am really excited writing about! Feel free to check it out! If you want something different - send in a request :)

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The request box is now open! The rules are same as last time. PLEASE be nice and don’t abuse the anon option. Make one request and wait till the next time when I open the requests. Also this time I will be updating the pending list as soon as someone makes the request. This is so, because I will be closing the request box as soon as I reach 30 request. [I already have 8 requests on the pending list at the moment]
Happy requesting :)

You told me about the crying part but not about the ‘not talking part’ when you first met him. Oh my my! I an imagine how much you regret it! :’( There is nothing worst than that! :(
yep it’s true! Everything happens for a reason. Maybe what happened was meant to be and there is something better planned for you. Cheer up :)
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Requested by Nosy Anon
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You opened the last door in the hallway hoping Donghae would be in there. All the other rooms were either empty or occupied by the other members. There was no time and Donghae had to be ready before the show started.
“Oh thank goodness you’re in here,” you sighed seeing him admire himself in the mirror.
“Sure took you long enough to get here,” he frowned.
“What?” you asked, a little confused. Donghae walked up to you, closing the door behind you.
“You need to go to the makeup room. There isn’t much time left,” you pouted. He didn’t bother to reply. Instead , he pushed you against the door leaving no way for you to escape.
“What are you doing?” you asked.
“Shhhhh,” he put his finger on your lips.
“We don’t have time for this right now,” you said. He furrowed his eyebrows to show his dissent. You began to say something but he shut you up by pressing his lips against yours. You knew if you struggled to get away he would only get more upset so you let him kiss you. Besides, it had been a long time since the last time you guys kissed without any interruptions.
“Happy?” you asked him when he pulled away.
“Ye,” he smiled shyly scratching his head.
“Do you want to get ready now?” you asked. He nodded in agreement following you out of the room.
*************************************************
You had recently moved to Korea therefore you didn’t know much about how things worked around over there. The job was new for you too. Usually young girls were not hired by the company but you got lucky since they were running short of makeup artists and needed someone immediately. Donghae had fallen for you the minute you were introduced you to the members. He had made a decision in his mind there and then that he would ask you out. And then in less than three months of your job, the two of you were going out.
You poked your head from behind the stage to look at the members perform. They were doing the craziest things-wearing silly costumes, dancing and jumping around. Then for a brief second you didn’t quite understand what had happened. Donghae leaned in and kissed Eunhyuk. Fangirls began cheering when they pulled apart. You felt like your eyes were going to pop out. The next minute you felt your face burning up.
“___________, they need you downstairs,” someone said from behind you. You frowned on the inside but didn’t dare show it on your face. Your boyfriend was kissing another man and you were being called to do something else.
****************************************************
That night you lay in your bed, very confused about the whole situation. You were too mad to talk to Donghae after the show. He sensed that you seemed disturbed but he didn’t say much..
‘Maybe he is just using me to show the world that he is straight …but he actually isn’t. Wait wait.. that doesn’t make sense. He just kissed a man in front of everyone. If anything our relationship is a secret so.. that wouldn’t be right. ..hmmm maybe he wants to show the members he is straight…but then again, he just kissed another member on stage. Arghhhhh nothing makes sense…’
You pulled the sheets over your head in frustration, wanting to forget about everything.
*********************************************************
“Where is __________?” Donghae asked the lady who began doing his makeup.
“She is working with another member today,” she replied pushing him back on the chair.
“But _________ always does my makeup,” he said narrowing his eyebrows.
“Not anymore. She requested for another member today.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know! NOW settle down, “ she said sternly pushing him back once again.
********************************************************
“__________ah,” you heard him call from behind you. Instead of stopping you lunged towards the bathroom to escape him.
“_________,” Donghae cried out your name a little louder this time. He caught hold of your arm and pulled you back.
“Leave me,” you whined.
“No!” he said angrily.
“I don’t want to talk to you,” you said making a disgusted face.
“What is wrong with you?” he asked. You guys heard some people around the corner so he pushed you into the girl’s bathroom.
“Okay now tell me what’s going on?” he threw a question at you instantly.
“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?” you asked.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“If you were just going to ‘use’ me then why are you going out with me?”
“Me? Using you? What? ________ what are you talking about?”
“I saw you kiss Eunhyuk? If you’re using me as a cover then please tell me right now. I don’t want to be..”
You got interrupted by Donghae’s laughter. He held his stomach tightly, jumping a little as tears started coming out of is eyes.
“What is wrong with you?” you asked looking at him strangely.
“H..hoo..holdon!” he said. You were getting more annoyed with his actions. You were mad at him while he was laughing. It took him a long time to recover. He took a few deep breaths before finally being able to talk.
“___________ah,” he said softly placing one of his hands on your cheeks. “I can assure you that I’m not gay.”
“Liar,” you said looking away. He tilted his head to side you were looking at.
“It’s just fanservice.”
“What?” you asked with a weird expression. It brought a smile to his face. He slid his hands behind you to pull you closer to him.
“We do it for the fans. I don’t really know how to explain it…but here in ..Korea..we show this skinship because the fans like it. They demand this. It’s just a popularity stunt.”
“But why would you do such a thing? I don’t like it!” you pouted.
“Why?” he asked running his thumb softly on your lips. You looked away to show that you were still not happy.
“____________,” you know I love you right?” he asked. You shook your head childishly.
“Oh come on,” he said. He lifted his hands and forced you to look at him. You stared at each other for a good minute before a smile finally broke on your face.
“Now can I get a kiss?” he asked. He didn’t wait for an answer. He leaned in and joined his lips to yours. You hesitated a bit but then let him. He was too sweet to resist and really good at convincing people.
“I hate you, you know that right?” you said when he pulled away.
“Of course,” he chuckled kissing you once again.
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Sorry for not adding more detail to it. I need to finish these scenarios! 8 more to go .. I can do this! *sighs*
Requested by myoppamyoppa
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‘Taken by the soft wind to your world
You asked me brightly where I came from to your side
And I told you that It was a secret
Wherever we walk together
Will be paradise’
“Oh this song is so beautiful. I love it Channie..” you had said. Chanyeol lay on his bed remembering your words from a few years back. You used to be so cheerful. He missed that. He missed that smile you had. Even though it was for someone else, he wished things hadn’t changed. He would rather see you happy with someone else than be sad and alone, closing your heart to everyone.
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“You know I don’t like walks on the beaches. Why did you bring me here?” you asked with annoyance. Chanyeol, who was walking beside you glanced at you for a quick second. It hurt him when you talked like that. He had been patient for a really long time.
“I just wanted to spend some time with you,” he mumbled under his breath. You looked at him from the corner of your eyes. It saddened you to see his disappointed face.
“Aaaaa! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that,” you comforted him. He gave you a smile but his eyes were more focused on the vast beyond. “Did you want to talk about something?”
“Not really. I thought you’d like it out here,” he replied.
“I like it better when I’m in a library reading a book,” you said with a playful smile also leaning in towards him a little.
“We can do that next time,” he winked at you. The silence redeemed. Both you and him were thinking of what to say next. He had always had the same questions. He was just hesitant to ask them. You on the other hand never had anything to say.
Chanyeol began to whistle a tone you’d heard a long time ago. It brought back some hazy memories but you lacked the struggle to remember them. He hoped you would remember and say something but he was only more disappointed.
“__________,” he called your name.
“Hmmmm…”
Chanyeol hesitated a bit before asking, “Why don’t you like the beach?” – He already knew the answer. Your head shot up in his direction as you glared at him for a good minute. Your lips quivered. You tried to calm your shaking hand with great effort. It had been 6 months since they had left. For most, it’s not a long time to recover from such a big blow but you told yourself you were stronger. You could do it. So what if they betrayed you. You still loved them…
Chanyeol stood there waiting for a response. You looked away, forcing a smile on your face.
“I don’t know. It scares me sometimes… that’s why.”
“It didn’t scare you before…”
“When?” you asked.
“When you hung out with Mikey,” he said rather quickly. You clenched your fist, biting your lip at the same time.
“Aaaiiish! he always pushed me to go with him. It’s not like I liked it,” you said after a while making sure your face held a smile. Fake or real- it didn’t matter. Chanyeol scrutinized every detail of the change in your facial expressions. He knew well that you were lying to him. His curious self wanted to tell you everything he knew but he knew it would hurt you. He could never let that happen. He began to say something; instead his lips formed a bland smile. He had done that so many times that you had started to think he knew something. Something you had been denying this whole time.
“So… what do you wanna do now?” you asked.
“It seems to be getting cold. Let’s go have dinner somewhere,” Chanyeol said rubbing his arms for warmth. You did the same secretly wishing he had his jacket with you that he could offer.
*****************************************************
You sat in your tiny balcony staring off into space. The sky was calmer than usual that day. It wasn’t even that cold. Your body had begun to crave the usual light touches of wind. A few birds flew by but other than that nothing big was happening. Your fingers automatically began typing words to your next line. You had recently developed a love for writing because in a way it helped you heal your wounds. You could let out all your emotions without anyone knowing you were actually experiencing them.
‘and in a blink of an eye he shattered her world into pieces leaving her heartbroken forever…’ – wrote.
“You left the front door open again,” Chanyeol said sliding the balcony door.
“I know!” you replied keeping your eyes fixed at the screen.
“What are you writing?” he asked.
“Nothing,” you replied briefly quickly changing the screen. Chanyeol was losing his patience with you. He tried hard not to snap.
“I got something for you,” he said.
“What is it?” you asked.
Chanyeol revealed a bag he had been hiding behind him. He sat down on the chair beside you and handed the bag to you. You put your hand inside it to get a feel of the object. It was wrapped and rather big in size. You carefully took it out and began to unwrap it. Your sixth sense was telling you it was something you had been wanting in a long time. You guessed right- it was a music box. You had wanted one ever since you visited the old haming street near Seoul.
“Oh my God Channie… how did you..Where.. oh my goodness,” your mouth spit out silly words in utter surprise.
“Play it,” he said. You looked at him and then the music box in your hand not knowing what to do. Chanyeol raised his eyebrows signaling you to play it. With a slight head nod you began to play it. The tune was familiar. A little too familiar. You closed your eyes to be able to focus better.
“Do you remember?” he asked putting his hand on top of yours. You opened your eyes and looked a him. He seemed happy to see you smile.
“Of course…,” you laughed nervously. The tunes from the song (Angel –Exo K) were brining chills through your body. Chanyeol had first made you hear it but along the song were so many other memories attached that you thought he didn’t know about.
“Thank you so much,” you said still forcing yourself to giggle to seem normal.
“Don’t thank me,” Chanyeol gave your hand a slight squeeze.
“Why shouldn’t I? You made me happy.. I should…thank..” you couldn’t even finish your sentence as tears began gushing out of your eyes. And there in that moment you knew you had to give in. The mask you had put on six months ago when they left had to be taken off. You had kept it inside you for so long that like water breaking through a reservoir all your feelings began to pour out. Repressing is never a good thing- you learnt that day.
Chanyeol on the other hand knew this was coming. He didn’t panic for one second. Instead he got up and pulled you up so he could hug you.
“Don’t cry,” he whispered.
“How can I not?” you yelled but your voice muffled through his shirt. You wanted to break away from him but he held you tightly, pressing your body against his. He wanted you to let it all out at once so you wouldn’t weep silently in the dark at night and at other times on cheerful days.
“Why did they do this to me?” you asked.
“He doesn’t deserve you ________,” he replied patting your head.
“Did she not think about my feelings for once? Why did they play with my heart like that. She knew I loved him. She was my best friend. How could she steal him from me like that? I …can’t do ..this anymore. I… she betrayed me…Channie…! I trusted her…”
The two of you stood under the darkening sky. Him comforting you while you let all your tears seep through his clothes. Your body started to numb as your energy drained out. Realizing that you were tired Chanyeol let you lose. You kept your eyes fixed on the ground. He lifted his hand to wipe the last traces of tears from your face. It was almost dry just like your eyes. You had cried for a long time.
“Let’s go inside,” he said. You didn’t answer. He took your hand and walked you to your room.
“I’m sorry you had to hear all of that,” you mumbled not making any eye contact. You were really embarrassed.
“__________,” he said your name softly. “Do you really think I didn’t know?”
“Huhh!” you gasped not understanding what he meant. He couldn’t possible know. There was no way.
“I’ve seen the way you looked at him. You loved him and that hurt me …. Because…I loved you, I still do and I always will.”
Revelations upon revelations were being revealed on you. You stood in shock as more shudders ran through your body. How could he love you? And most of all how could he know that you loved Mikey. You had loved him t such an extent that there was no returning from that state. Gina your best friend in the world, knew about and still she stole him from you. You were a fool not realize when they started to go out and then even announce their wedding. That was the day you knew you didn’t want to live anymore. Two people you loved the most had done the most horrible thing possible to you. You told yourself it should make you happy that they were happy but the fact that Gina knew you loved Mikey made you hate her. How could your own friend do that to you.
“You went on smiling to the world when they were getting married but only I knew how you felt on the inside. Every time I take his name you always act like nothing stirs up inside you but only I know how you feel. Only me ________ only me. I can’t see you suffer like this. He isn’t worth all of this.,” he stopped for a little bit. “Look at what you’ve done to yourself. I miss that heartfelt laughter and the bright smile. I know how hurt you are but…”
“You weren’t supposed to know this,” you cut him. “No one was supposed to know this.”
“_________,”
“No Chanyeol! Just go! … I’ve already spoiled things enough. I don’t want you to try fixing this. Leave before I say something and hurt you too.”
“Why are you blocking everyone from reaching your heart? Why have you locked it behind bars. Let yourself feel again.”
“6 months is not enough time for that.”
“I know it isn’t but I’m going to try making it better for you.”
“You cannot Chanyeol. You cannot. What part of this do you not understand? You are not Mikey. You are Chanyeol. I am not in love with you! I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM!,” you yelled. You had completely taken him by surprise. Even you didn’t know how it all started. When you started getting angry and now you were yelling at the guy who was only telling you how he felt about you.
He stood there waiting for you to say something but you had already said enough. There was nothing else to say. You looked away to escape his teary but questioning eyes.
****************************************************
A month had passed since the last time you saw Chanyeol. When he left that day- he had left heartbroken. Maybe even more heartbroken than you. It wasn’t just your words that had hurt him but also the fact that you were suffering alone. He was just trying to help. Even if it meant not being loved in return. He was ready to do anything for you, if you would realize that.
At first you didn’t think about it much but as more days went by you started missing him. You had gotten so used to him always being around you that you didn’t value any of his efforts. He was only trying to help. He had kept it in him for so long- longer than you had been in love with Mikey.
You would often remember all the silly things he did and it would make you sad that he stopped coming. You felt guilty. It was your fault for pushing him away. Cleaning your room one day, you found the bag he had given you the music box in. You had very carefully placed on the top of the bookshelf. You stared at it for a good minute picturing his face in your head.
“What have I done?” you said to yourself. With that, you ran out of the apartment towards a direction you should have gone a long time ago!
*************************************************
Just as you were about to knock on the door, it opened. It looked like he was going to some sort of a formal party. He looked nice…
“___________,” Chanyeol murmured your name.
“Why’d you stopped coming…” you asked. His gaze was too intense for you to return. You looked away. He didn’t say anything. Instead he pulled you into a hug. He had missed you- a lot more than you had missed him.
“I’m sorry,” you mumbled.
“Don’t be.”
“I don’t want to give you false hopes.”
“Don’t worry about it”
“But..”
“I can wait,” he said closing the argument. He nuzzled on your neck like a little puppy who had been waiting for that moment in forever. You were finally in his arms and this time with all your consent. He could never let this chance slip away. You on the other hand were still unsure but you knew you could trust him. He had never let you down before so why would he ever in the future. Chanyeol’s heart was so tender. Anyone would be lucky to be loved by him.
“Thank-you,” you said. He patted your back telling you, you didn’t have to say that.
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-Sighs! 9 more to go! I can do this. Keep a look out for the ask box opening- it will be very soon. ;)
You write too? Here in tumblr?
Oh pssshh!! Wait just a little bit more, Prince charming is on his way ;)

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Really? I kinda want to know which part was it that you liked the most and felt connected to?
And I am so glad I didn’t disappoint you. I felt like it was very chunky but as long as you liked it I’m happy.
I know thinking about that still makes you sad and I really do hope he contacts you one day just to let you know how things are :)

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Look at it this way: “You weren’t meant to be with the people who left because someone much more special must be on his way…"
Trust me you’ll be fine :)
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Hahahaha ahh I don’t write smut! lol and also I like the ending the way it is! Isn’t it beautiful?
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If I ever saw one of my celebrity crushes in real life I wouldn’t approach them. Instead I would pay a homeless man twenty bucks to punch me in the face in front of them. Because based on all of the fanfiction I have read they would then rush to my aid and then invite me back to their apartment to get an ice pack and then I say something cute and witty that makes them want to kiss me and then we fall in love and get married.
This.
God bless.
the world is not yet ready for you, young one
Awwww!! oh so it stirred up some of your feelings too! :( I hope things are better now?
And I am glad you enjoyed it.

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Awwwww you’re too sweet! I honestly wish I could make it better but here’s the thing. When I was writing this I didn’t think about Luhan at all! I was thinking about you and a person whole time. So that’s why I feel like its a little different from my usual scenarios [when I went back and read it again] but since it made you happy, I am glad I didn’t disappoint you. :)
*hugs you back*
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Requested by anon Naiya
‘She was afraid of loving and more strangely, she was afraid of being loved in return. “What’s the point?” she would say. “It’s not like it will be eternal. One day they will leave. They will find out that I am not perfect… I am far from that…” Over the years she had completely secluded herself from the society. Her heart was safely caged inside a box cushioned by smooth linen stuffing. No one was allowed to touch it. No one needed to either. Nothing mattered because she knew she didn’t deserve anything. Why was she like this? Had she always been like this? Why did it always hurt her when someone asked her if she was okay?‘
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You walked down the busy street, your head slightly bowed, your eyes fixed on the ground. Whispers, cries, gossips occasionally touched your ear but you let them subside. In only a matter of few seconds you would be far from all of this. Your feet began to move faster as the corner approached. You huddled through the crowd, pushing a few, in frustration. ‘Why do they leave their houses?’ you asked yourself, shaking your head in annoyance.
There it was, right in front of you. Your safe haven, where you felt protected from the world. Only a few years back you had found that place, hidden behind the heavily laden trees. The park was less busy than usual. You swiftly tip toed to your spot, making sure to not catch anyone’s eyes. You bent down, trying to catch your breath when your vision caught something very wrong. Something or rather someone who wasn’t supposed to be there. You looked up- your eyes meeting his and for a second you felt captivated by the sadness they held. It was almost as if you could see your reflection in his personality without knowing one bit about him. Neither of you moved but stared, hoping the other would say something. No words were uttered. Your lips refused to part. Instead of getting mad at him for taking your spot, you let him stay. Why? You didn’t know. You turned around to leave when you heard him murmur. Your body was in an awkward position and so was your mind. You didn’t know if you should ask him what he had said or just quietly leave. You were still debating when you heard him again. This time he said it much louder. “You don’t have to leave.”
Very slowly you turned your head sideways hoping he would say something more. He didn’t. From the corner of your eyes you could tell that he had gone back to reading his book. He either didn’t care enough or he was too aloof to realize that he had unintentionally hurt you. You were just as stubborn and possessive about your things. Without giving the idea a second thought, you trailed to your spot that had been very lamely taken by him. There was no sign of the slightest flinch from him. Both of you of sat stiffly under the shade reading your respective books.
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Two weeks had passed and nothing had changed. It had almost become a ritual. Every day, he would be there five minutes before your arrival time. You didn’t say anything, neither did he bother. Both of you sat quietly. He was perfectly calm and so were you. It became almost movie like. Two strangers meeting like this. Never uttering words directed to each other. Just understanding what the other never said and then never bothering to ask. There was no need. You liked it just the way it was. You had started to get attached. It felt great to see him there every day. Two months? Three and then four passed by. But nothing changed. You were still quiet and so was he.
Then one day everything changed. Like usual, you casually walked to the place your locks dancing along, hitting your face occasionally. Everything was going to be perfect, except that he wasn’t there that day. You scanned the tree up and down and all around foolishly but there was no sign of him. Blinking repeatedly you stood in silence, with your cheeks puffed up. Your heart poked fun of you. You had started doing what you hated the most- caring for others when you knew the result was always going to be bad. They would never provide you the satisfaction you needed. You wanted to show yourself that you were stronger so you sat down, breathed heavily and began reading the book. The words that your eyes were eating were far from being absorbed by your brain. Your frustration level reached its height in a mere few seconds. You slammed your book sipping in the last drop of patience and got up. You couldn’t do it. He had to be there to make it right. He wasn’t- therefore everything was wrong.
A few more days passed and there was no sign of him. You felt betrayed and broken from the inside. You tried to tell yourself that it was no big deal. You didn’t know him or anything but what about your silly heart that kept poking you? You felt miserable. You didn’t want to go back to the place anymore but that little light of hope was still there. ‘He could come…one day…’ you would keep telling yourself.
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Two weeks later:
You sat under the shade as light air brushed your hair and kissed your bare arm. You were reading your book but you were more focused on the sounds around you. Your ears tingled at the sound of someone’s footstep. Your head shot up towards the direction of the sound you’d been craving to here. And there he was- walking towards you like nothing had happened. Like he had all the right in the world to leave when he liked and come back when he wanted. Your eyes raged with anger looking at his calm, innocent face and pure twinkling eyes. As he got closer you realized that that tinkle was because of his teary eyes. He’d been crying or rather weeping…
You looked at him with questioning eyes as you clenched your shaking hands into a fist. He sat down beside you, took out his book and began to read. You couldn’t help but look at him from the corner of your eyes. All your anger had subsided.
“What is it?” you suddenly blurted out. He didn’t look up. It was the first time he’d heard your voice. His ears turned a light pink and he tried hard to act like he was involved in his book. But he couldn’t pretend any longer. You were still looking at him with your big dough eyes demanding an answer.
“That’s none of your business,” he replied.
“I want to help,” you replied. You couldn’t stand seeing him cry like that. You knew better. You had been through days like that. “Please! I know you’re hurting right now. But I can help. Trust me!”
“No one can help me,” he replied putting his book aside. You began to say something but he continued, unexpectedly. “No one will understand what I have been through. It’s just too… much.” He turned his body to face you, looking straight into your eyes. He leaned closer to you and whispered, “It haunts me every night.”
His last statement ran shudders through your body. You wanted to know what his secret was but you couldn’t form the right words to ask. You held his hand and gave it a slight squeeze. “I may be able to help,” you said. He shook his head, shifting to the other side. His hands slid out of yours. He rested his head against the tree trunk sighing heavily. The few words that were exchanged a few minutes back were replaced by the same heavy silence that existed between the two of you.
You heart wished he would trust you more but your mind told you it wouldn’t be right. You would begin to like him and who knows what will that turn into. Then one day he will realize that nothing is perfect and he will leave and you will be alone.
You shook your head out of your atrocious thoughts and went back to pretending to read.
The days after that passed the same way. He had started coming regularly but there was some change that you sensed. The silence between the two of you wasn’t the same beautiful one. It was cutting.
********************************************
“I want to take you somewhere,” he said. You looked up in surprise, fixing your glasses. Was he really talking to you after all that had happened a few days ago. More than that, he was asking you such a thing when the two of you barely knew each other.
“Where?” you spit out while your heart kept telling you to do the opposite. Instead of answering you he grabbed your hand pulling you up.
“You won’t regret it,” he said as a smile embraced his lips. He looked happy that day. You smiled too and let him drag you.
The two of you entered the main quad in the park where all the life was. There were people everywhere. He jumped a little, waving his hands in the air as if introducing someone to you
“Look at this,” he said.
“Look at what?” you asked.
“This!,” he pointed to children playing, balloons flying, ice cream man yelling, birds chirping and the flowers dancing alone the wind’s light touch. He wanted to say more but just looking into your eyes made him stop. You were telling him you understood what he meant. It made you happy and it made him happy just a little more.
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He called himself Luhan. His name, his face, his everything made you smile. Just the thought of seeing him the next day made your heart flutter. He had started to open more. He would tell you crazy things. How to do this and that, how to play around and get yourself out of trouble. You listened to his interesting rambles with such enthusiasm that he never wanted to stop. At other times he would talk about much serious things. What his dreams were. What he wanted to do in the near future. They always saddened you because it usually involved him moving away to S. Korea.
“Why?” you would ask.
“It’s my dream to become a star,” he would reply. Your expressions would darken and he would very soothingly run his fingers across your cheek trying to calm you.
He felt extremely awkward coming to your house the first time. He would say that back home he wasn’t allowed to do such things. You would giggle at his innocence. He made you feel things you thought you were incapable of feeling.
Just like one of those days he lay down his head resting on your lap. He had his eyes closed listening to music while you read your book. Something distracted you and so you began to look at him. He seemed calm but you felt like he was trying hard to suppress something.
“Everything alright?” you asked.
“Yeah,” he replied without opening his eyes.
“Luhannnn,” you said pushing him to get up and face you. “If there’s something troubling you then why don’t you say it?”
“Nothing’s troubling me,” he replied getting ready to lie back down.
“No!” you suddenly snapped. “Just tell me okay? I am tired of you hiding everything from me.”
“When have I ever hidden anything from you?” he asked with flustered eyebrows.
“Everything,” you said pushing your hands back in slight frustration. “What do I know about you? I know nothing and I want too but you keep hiding everything from me. I want to know what upsets you? Why you cry sometimes and then wipe your tears as soon as I look at you?… I want to help you but I feel like you don’t trust me. Are we even….” You stopped halfway. You had very often wanted to ask him where your relationship stood with him or if there was even anything between you and him. He never defined it but he also didn’t know that it bothered you a lot. Luhan slid a little bit more, getting ready to leave but you held him. “You can’t just leave like this.”
“You want to know why I’m like this?” he grabbed your arms and held you tightly.
“Yes I do,” you replied even louder.
“It’s because I was sexually harassed my entire childhood,” his words echoed in the hollow air. A gasp escaped your mouth while tears began to rush out of your eyes unannounced. You were in a state of shock, not blinking one bit.
“This is why I never wanted to tell you such things. It hurts me every time I think about it and honestly.. you’re not making it any better for me,” he said pushing you back.
“Luhan,” you whispered his name as he stomped out of the room. Before you could stop him, he was gone. You ran to the door but there was no sign of him. “Luhannnn,” you called out hoping he would return. There was no response. He was gone…
************************************************
Two days later:
You felt like someone was knocking on your door. But then again you had been feeling like that for the past 48 hours. He wasn’t going to come. He had made it pretty clear by not answering your text messages or calls.
“_____________! Please open the door,” you heard his voice from the opposite side of the door. The next second you lunged towards it opening it wide. He grabbed you violently and pulled you into a hug. “I’m sorry,” you heard him say as he planted a kiss on your neck. “I over reacted. Please forgive me. None of it is your fault.”
“No I’m sorry,” you said. You felt him shake his head, also wiping his tears on your shoulder.
Things went back to normal pretty quick after that. The usual movie nights or meeting at the quad resumed. He had started to smile again. You tried your best to not perk anything that would upset him. You wanted to hold on to him tightly and never let go. He’d been through so much in life and you thought you had it hard. He was different. He was special…
Little did you know that what was yet to come was going to bring everything you wished never happened to reality.
*************************************************
“_______________ah! Open the door,” you heard him yell one night. You rubbed your eyes to look at the clock. It was almost midnight. He never came this late. In fact he tried to leave before 10.
You opened the door to let him in. He was smiling. It wasn’t the usual kind of smile. This one was different because it seemed genuine. He was truly smiling that day. Whatever he had to tell you sure was special.
“I’m going to Korea,” he said without waiting for you to calm down. “I’ve finally decided what I want to do. I want to go there. I think I can do it ___________. I think I can.” Your stared at his face in horror. The words he was uttering sounded selfish. Was he only thinking about himself and not you? Did he even care. Why was he so happy? It made you jealous. You wanted to rip that smile off of his face.
“___________,” he snapped his fingers forcing you back to reality. “You wanted me to be happy right? I think this will make me happy. I think this is what I want to do.”
“But…” you said but stopped upon feeling a heavy lump in your throat.
“But what?” he said. And then there in that moment you knew there was no stopping him. You had no right to stop him and even if you did, you just couldn’t. He was happy. How could you steal that from him?
“Nothing,” you said forcing a smile on your face. He leaned to give you a sweet kiss on your cheeks. “Thanks for staying by my side this whole time,” he said. His hands slowly slid out of yours along with which you felt your whole world sliding out. Your heart mocked you for falling in the trap you never wanted to.
“Luhan,” you called after him.
“Ye,” he turned around.
“Keep in contact,” you said smiling weakly.
“Of course,” was the last word he uttered before he left.
****************************************************
One year later:
You slowly walked down the busy street dodging anyone who came an inch of a distance close to you. You trailed through the lively part of the park and into your usual hiding, away from all the noise. You opened your book and sat down to read.
“Keep in contact,” you had said.
“Of course,” he had replied.
You heard those words echo in your mind once again. Before tears could come out of your eyes you shut them tightly. He had lied to you. He didn’t message you after the first two month. You didn’t know what had happened to him. All your research always led you to a dead end. There was no sign of him. Had he become a trainee? Was he still alive? Had he moved on?- You didn’t know anything. It had been almost a year and it was pretty clear that he had forgotten about you. Just when you had started to fall for him, he’d left you. Just when you had started to think that maybe, maybe you were wrong your whole life. Love did exist and being loved in return wasn’t that bad after all- he’d left. He had no idea what kind of damage he had done. You were there when he needed someone and now when you needed him he was so far away.
You had considered going after him many times but thinking you would only make a fool out of yourself you dropped the idea. It wasn’t worth it you would say but your heart would whisper that ‘it was.’
*****************************************************
.
.
.
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*Ring Ring…ring.. ring..*
You woke up in panic, trying to look for your phone in the dark. It was buried under the sheets somewhere. Your hands moved in all the directions. You finally gave up and turned on the lights. The phone stopped buzzing as soon as you picked it up. It was an unknown number. ‘Who would call at this hour…’ you thought. Just as you decided to go back to sleep the cell phone buzzed again. Hesitantly you picked it up. There was no voice from side aside from the light breathing. Your heart felt a strange tingle. You clenched your fist nervously.
“Guess who,” the voice said. Silence took over once again.
You didn’t know what else to do but smile. He’d come back…
__________________________________________________________________________
To anon Naiya- If I have disappointed you I apologize in advance. I was too busy trying to make it right for you that I think I over did it. I wanted to make it extra special but I couldn’t because I know I can’t. [I hope you know what I’m trying to say]- If you want me to change/add anything feel free to message me.
NOTE: I know most people get upset when Chinese members are used in a setting where they are perceived ad Koreans. I couldn’t do anything about this due to the way this scenario was requested. So I hope ya’ll understand :)