Requested by anon
You stared into blank space, your vision blurred by your tears. Everything was over. You wanted to pull all your hair out. The pain in your head was killing you. The memory of the accident was very painful for you. As much as you wanted it to go away, it wouldn’t. It kept coming back. The sight of blood everywhere, you trying to hold his hand as the ambulance took him away. You looked up, asking God why he had done this to you. Why had he let you live while the person you lived for, the person you loved the most in this world, was dead.
The door opened and Kris entered. He sat on the chair beside the hospital bed.
“How are you feeling now?” he asked.
You didn’t respond.
“Look __________, you have to talk. You have to say something. It’s been more than two weeks now!” he said desperately. As usual, he was disappointed. He got up to leave. As he approached the door, he turned around one last time to see if you would say something but you didn’t.
“What was the last thing he said?” you asked with a voice barely audible.
He came back and sat beside you, trying hard to hold back his tears.
‘He, aaa,” his voice choked,” he told me to take care of you.” Kris finally said. “He wanted me to offer my hand into marriage with you!” he said looking at you for an answer so he wouldn’t have to continue.
You were lost in your own thought. ‘I cannot imagine my life without him and he wants me to get married to someone else. He wants me to dedicate my life to someone else. How could he be so selfish?’ You thought about your fiancé.
“He loved you a lot. I am sure he is looking after you right now. He just wants you to be happy. Seeing you like this would hurt him a lot. You don’t want to do that,” he said putting his hand on your arm. “You have to move on ________. Please accept my marriage proposal and make him happy. This was his last wish.”
You slowly slid your hand away and turned your face, so you wouldn’t have to look at Kris.
You didn’t have a choice. You loved your fiancé too much to not listen to him. You had to get married to Kris to make him happy, even if it meant a life of misery for you. You had never imagined living your life with a person you didn’t love. You had lost all the ability to love. You couldn’t love again. You knew you were going to hurt Kris but your dead fiancé’s last wish was more important to you.
And so you got married to Kris. Your wedding wasn’t a wedding. It was a mere signing of the papers. You hadn’t exchange a word with Kris in the entire process.
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“You can sleep on the bed. I’ll sleep on the couch,” he said picking up a pillow.
You quietly lay down in bed but sleep was far from your eyes.
Two weeks passed without the two of you saying anything to each other. He would get up early every morning and make breakfast for you and then leave for work. He used to come home late and then go to sleep. This was your life. The memory of the accident haunted you every day.
“I was thinking we could go out for dinner tomorrow night,” Kris said over dinner.
“Okay,” you replied and went back to eating.
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“Are you ready?” he asked as he entered the room.
“Yeah.” You replied. You were wearing an orange dress. You looked beautiful. Kris shook his head when he realized that he had been staring at you.
“Umm, let’s go,” he said.
“The food here is really good,” Kris said as the two of you entered the restaurant. “I used to come here a lot when I was young.”
You could see his efforts to try and start a conversation and you admired them but you didn’t have the heart to talk. The two of you quietly ate dinner and came back home. You wondered how long you could keep this going.
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It was almost 12 o clock and Kris hadn’t returned. He was always home by 10. You looked at the clock repeatedly. The door finally opened and Kris stumbled inside. He was drunk. What more could you expect out of a man who was forced into an unsuccessful marriage. As he came into the room he advanced towards you. Without giving you a warning he held you tightly. You struggled to free yourself but failed. “What are you doing Kris?” you asked, still struggling. He didn’t respond and continued to take your clothes off.
“Kris, please,” you now pleaded. He dragged you towards the bed. You were now completely naked and horrified. You continued to beg him to stop but he wasn’t listening. He was lost in his own world. He got on top of you and that’s when you knew there was no stopping to this. You turned your face sideways so you won’t have to have to witness it with your eyes. He was violent. Very violent. It was painful but you controlled yourself from screaming. He had no idea how much he was hurting you.
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You entire body hurt when you woke up the next morning. You looked around for Kris but he was nowhere to be seen. You waited for him as the day passed but he didn’t return. As the sun set the door opened and Kris entered. You were curled up on the couch. He looked at you with a flat face and proceeded towards the room.
“Do you not feel sorry about what you did last night,” you yelled not being able to control your anger.
“No.” He said as he continued towards the room. You ran up to him and held him by the shoulder pulling him back.
“Is this what you promised him? To hurt me like this?,” you said tears now rolling out of your eyes.
He let himself loose from your grip and pulled back. “No, this is not what I had promised him okay! I said I would take care of you but who is going to take care of me,” he came closer to you and held you by your arms. “It’s been over 6 months For God’s sakes 6 months. You wake up after I leave and when I come home every night all I do is sleep. You never respond to any of my questions. You never offer to help me with anything. Do you even know what’s going on in my life?” he pushed you back. “I promised to take care of you and that’s what I have been doing up till now but you, you’re like a lifeless statue that’s living here with me. I have tried so hard to cheer you up every day but you don’t respond at all. I wasn’t asking you for anything but just a little care and consideration. I know what you’ve been through and I don’t expect you to love me but..”
“But what Kris? Just because you’re upset doesn’t justify what you did last night. What do you want me to do? I didn’t want to get married in the first place. The only reason I am here today is because of him. He wanted this and all I want is for him to be happy. Your concerns are the least of my worries.”
He scoffed. “Do you even hear yourself? How could you be so heartless and selfish?” he said wiping his tears. “You know what, just forget it.” He said with a disappointing face and slowly walked into the room.
You sat on the couch. Today, you were missing your fiancé a lot more than usual. If he had been here, none of this would have been happening. You wouldn’t have been stuck with Kris. You were too blind to see all that he was doing for you. You dwelled in your past because you were too scared to move on. You felt like you wouldn’t be faithful to your fiancé if you moved on like this.
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You found yourself in the bed the next morning. Kris had carried you to bed last night because you fell asleep on the couch. You rolled over and saw him still fast asleep. ‘I shouldn’t treat him like that. After all that he has done for me. Yeah, but what he did to me wasn’t right either. But you should give him a second chance.’
Your thoughts were killing you. You didn’t know what to do. A part of you was telling you to give him a chance and the other part hated him for what he had done. But you couldn’t overlook all the nice things he had done for you.
Today was the first time in 6 months, that you got up and made breakfast. You were setting the food on the table when Kris came out of the room, yawning and stretching.
“You made breakfast?” he asked with a surprised look on his face.
“Yeah,” you replied and went back to doing your work.
He came and stood behind you. “Listen about last night ..and the night before.,” he said scratching his head,” I am really..”
“Can we please not talk about it,” you interrupted.
“No, Please let me say it,” he said. “I am sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I don’t know what got into me. I wasn’t thinking straight. I was drunk and I know I’ve hurt you a lot. And what I said last night, can we please just forget about that?” he pleaded.
“If people could forget things that easily, wouldn’t this world be a happy place?” you asked looking at him with questioning eyes. “The breakfast is getting cold. Let’s eat.”
The two of you finished your breakfast in silence and Kris left for work. You felt so lonely. You wanted to talk to someone but you had nobody. Your life couldn’t have been more miserable. What you couldn’t see was that Kris was always there for you, you were just not ready.
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Kris came home early that night. You were busy reading your book. You didn’t even notice that he had entered the room until he came and stood in front of you. He had a bouquet in his hand.
“Here, I got it for you!” he said giving it to you. You took it from him and placed it besides you. You felt guilty. You wanted to apologize but you didn’t know how. Kris sat beside you and began to say something but stopped. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to say anything.
“I am sorry about what I said.” You said finally breaking the cold silence.
He held your hand in his, “Can we just move on from all of this and start over?” he asked. Here was the moment of truth. You had been running away from this question forever but you needed someone. You really did. The emptiness inside you was killing you. Kris was standing right there offering himself to you. You broke down. As the tears started coming out, you hugged him. You didn’t know if you were crying because you missed your fiancé or because you felt guilty for making Kris’s life miserable. All you knew was that you wanted this moment to last forever. The feeling of him being there for you was so satisfying. You didn’t want to let go of him. Had you started having feelings for him? You didn’t know.
“_________, can I tell you something?” he asked as he ran his fingers through your hair.
“Yeah?”
“I fell in love with you the day you became my bride. Your puffy eyes, flushed cheeks and the sad smile hurt me a lot more than you can imagine. At the time, I didn’t know why it was or what it was but I slowly came to realize that I had fallen for you. I had started loving you. Hearing you weep silently every night hurt me a lot. I wanted it to stop. I wanted you to be happy but then I made a mistake and I will forever remain guilty for that. I shouldn’t have hurt you that night. I really, really do love you. If you could find it in your heart to forgive me and accept me, I promise I will never let you down. I will try everything to make you happy. I know you can’t forget what happened in the past but I can help you move on.”
His soft voice melted like honey, in your ears. You looked up at him. He leaned in and kissed your cheeks wiping away the tears. He kissed your eyes as you closed them and then your forehead. He came closer to your lips but instead kissed you on the side. He wasn’t sure if you were ready.
You were ready. You slid your hand to the back of his neck and leaned in to kiss him. As your lips touched his, you felt a strange but happy feeling in your heart. As if it was telling you that you were doing the right thing.
“I am ready to move on ,” you said looking straight into his eyes.
His eyes were smiling.
“Thank you,” he said as he slid his hand on your back and slowly pushed you towards the bed, pulling the covers on top of the two of you. You weren’t scared of him, tonight. You were happy.
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Anon, I know this is different from what you had expected but I really wanted to try something new and more tragic than the regular cutesy stuff.
Do let me know if you liked it or not ! :)