Requested by anon
“________ah, are you in here?” Mir poked his head inside your room. “There you are!” a smile spread on his face.
You rolled out of bed and looked up. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to check on you,” he replied.
“I’m fine,” you pouted and rolled your eyes.
“You left the front door open again,” he made a face.
“I’m still alive aren’t I? So what’s the big deal?” you raised your eyebrows.
“Okay okay! Let’s forget about that.” Mir pulled a smile and hugged you. “Let’s go out somewhere.”
You shook your head and pulled away.
“Come on, it’s the first day of spring. Don’t you want to enjoy the sunlight?”
“Aniyo,” you pouted and walked into the bathroom. You were hoping he’d be gone by the time you came out of the bathroom but he was still there. He held up a light orange and yellow dress.
“Wear this. It’ll look nice on you,” he winked.
“Oppa, I don’t want to go,” you tried to remain politely.
“Why not? You weren’t having a good day yesterday so I was hoping you’d be feeling better today.”
“I am feeling better. I just don’t want to go out anywhere.”
“________ is there something you’re not telling me?”
He asked with such sincerity that you just wanted to hug him and sob for the rest of the day. He was the closest person to you. You wanted to ball out all of your feelings to him but you didn’t want to disturb him. You knew well that guys couldn’t be sympathetic no matter how hard they tried. Nevertheless you didn’t want to disappoint him. He always tried to cheer you up and this was the least he could do for you.
“Ok, let’s go,” you sighed taking the dress from him.
“Yaaaaaayy,” he cheered. “I love you.”
You gave him a brief smile before walking into the bathroom once again to change.
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“So where are you taking me?” you asked. The two of you had been walking down unfamiliar paths for a long time.
“Just wait and watch,” he held your hand and dragged you.
“Seriously a park?” you said walking in the entrance.
“Yeah I know but I’m going to take you somewhere else,” he winked. Both you and him continued walking until you hit the woods. It was almost the end of the park. You were getting tired. It had been an hour since you left the house.
He walked you through a tunnel and there it was, the place he wanted to show you. Your jaw dropped as you stared at what was before you with utter amazement. It was a beautiful grassland surrounded by huge trees spreading their shadows over the smaller plants. The sun’s rays escaped through the tiny gap making the white flowers look even more beautiful.
“Come on,” Mir said with a smile on his face.
“Why did you never bring me here before?” you asked.
He didn’t respond. He kept pulling until you guys reached the middle. You could hear a waterfall in the background.
The two of you lay down on the ground with your faces facing each other.
“It’s a special place to me,” he whispered. “ I don’t bring any one here.”
A smile spread on your face. You lifted your hand, intending to touch his face. The smile that was on his face never changed. It was still there…
“______________ah, wake up!” Mir shook you.
“Huh!? Uhhh” you sat up, rubbing your eyes.
“How? I thought we were..? What’s happening,” you asked in extreme confusion.
“Are you okay?” he asked in utter confusion.
“You left your front door open again!” he made a face. As reality started sinking in, you realized that you’d been dreaming. That splendid path, that sunlight, those flowers none of it was real. It wasn’t the first time you’d had dreams like these. You had them occasionally and they left you sad afterwards because they were nowhere near reality. You looked at Mir with longing eyes as he got up to get a glass of water. He came back and sat beside you. He placed it close to your lips.
“Want some?” he asked. You nodded your head and just as you were about to take a sip he pulled it away and drank all of it. He looked at you with a cheeky smile and then began laughing.
“I hate you oppa,” you pulled a cushion from behind you and hit him with it.
“Ai, that hurt,” he said innocently.
“Why are you here?”
“I stopped by to get my jacket. You took it from me yesterday and never returned it,” he made a face.
“Aish, mianhe,” you pouted.
“It’s okay,” he patted your head. “I have to rush. I’ll see you later.”
Before leaving the room he looked back at you. He didn’t like it when you were upset. He wanted to hug you and kiss you and tell you how much he loved you but every time he said it, it didn’t mean anything to you.
“___________ah,” he called your name. You looked at him with a flat face.
“I love you,” he said and winked. A sudden shudder ran through you just like all the other times when he said those three words. You just wished they meant something. You wished that when you returned those three words to him he’d know that it meant something. He always played around. You never knew when he was serious and when not.
“I love you too,” you said forcing a fake smile on your face.
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Mir left and you curled up inside your bed once again. Day and night weren’t two different things for you. It all seemed the same to you. Just a year ago you were a happy girl. You laughed with everybody else and cried when they did. Then suddenly things changed. Nothing seemed to make you happy. You felt like a caged bird wanting to escape. You’d created a sort of shell around yourself. Very few could enter and Mir was one of them. He’d been there all along but he had never seemed to see the difference in you. Maybe you were just a really good actor and could easily cover up your depressed emotions. You knew well that if you told him that you liked him, what his reaction would be. He wouldn’t ever reject you. He was too nice to do that. But did you really want to do that? You could barely handle yourself, how could expect him to deal with you. You shrugged the thought out off your head and buried your face in the pillow. A tear rolled out of your eyes and before you knew it, you were crying, sobbing and then weeping.
You knew well you needed help but you were too afraid to tell someone. If this kept going on it was going to get more dangerous. You hoped that day never came but it was slowly creeping up.
Your eye sight was getting weak too now since crying yourself to sleep every night was a routine for you. Tonight was going to be just like that. You moved your hand around on the bed to find the remote. You turned on the TV and kept changing channels. Nothing good was on. Another reason for you to keep crying. Even fate wasn’t on your side. You felt like everything was negative around you. You always told yourself that maybe you weren’t good enough that’s why.
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“_______________ah, are you up yet?” Mir yelled from the living room. Last time you heard that voice, it was a dream. You didn’t bother opening your eyes. In fact you closed them even more tightly and pulled the pillow on your head.
“_________ah, wake up!” Mir came into the room. You felt the left side of the bed dip a little bit. Was it real? Was he really here? If he was, you were never showing him your face. You knew your eyes looked puffy from the night before’s crying.
“____________, wake up. Come on! I need to take you somewhere. It’s the first day of spring.”
“Go away oppa,” you mumbled but the pillow ate your voice.
“I can’t hear you,” he said trying to pull it off of you. It was real. It wasn’t a dream. He really was there. You clenched the pillow tightly. Mir suddenly released it. There was no movement for a while and the next second you felt a bucket of cold water being poured over you. You immediately jumped up. Mir saw your puffy, red eyes and drenched body. He began laughing.
“Look at you face,” he said between giggles. You felt like somebody had just put a heavy weight on your heart. Out of all the people in the world, he was laughing at you. You expected much better out of him. Without thinking you pushed him with all your strength and yelled , ”Get out.”
Mir stumbled but handled himself. He couldn’t understand what had happened in mere 30 seconds. His face turned serious. He sensed something was wrong. Really wrong.
“________, are you okay?” he asked.
“Nothing,” you said glaring at him. You couldn’t calm your nerves at all.
“_________ please tell me what’s wrong.” He came towards you. He began to grab you but you pushed him once again.
“I said go away,” you yelled. Mir didn’t stop. Instead he pulled you towards him, causing you to burry your head against his chest. You struggled but he kept his grip strong holding your head firmly and using his other hand to hold your back. You kept hitting him but he stood strong.
“Just let me go,” you mumbled finally giving up.
“Shhhhhh,” he patted your back and stroked your hair. “Everything will be alright.” He kept repeating. You couldn’t control yourself. More tears flowed out. You’d hit your breaking point. You sobbed for a long time and all that time Mir stood there trying to comfort you.
He finally loosened his grip guessing that it was okay to let go. He sat you down on the bed. You immediately scrunched up your legs against your chest. He sat too, facing you.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. You shook your head.
“Okay,” he mumbled and just sat there watching you.
“Why are you doing this?” you asked turning your head sideways.
“Because I…” he trailed off. “I worry about you.”
“Don’t”
“I can’t.”
“Try.”
He couldn’t take it anymore. He was going to say it and this time actually show you that he meant it. He forced you to turn your face to him. You looked at him with questioning eyes.
“Don’t you understand? ___________ I love you,” this was the first time he’d said it looking straight into your eyes. He meant it. Instead of being happy, you got scared. You shook your head.
“Don’t say that.”
“Why not?”
“Because you don’t know what I’m going through.”
“Do you think I don’t know what you’re going through?” he snapped back. “It breaks my heart to see you suffer for no reason every day. _________ I’ve been in love with you for the longest time. I remember when you used to be that happy girl. You were so full of life. What happened to that? What happened?” Mir got teary eyed.
You were speechless. This is what your heart had been longing to hear. You felt a twinge of pain in your heart. You loved him too. But was it worth it to make him waste his life on someone like you. You pushed his hand gently.
“Oppa, you don’t want to do this. You don’t know how bad it is.”
“Then tell me how bad it is. I can help you _______. Trust me.”
You kept shaking your head. Mir pulled you into a hug once again. “Do you have any idea what I feel about you? Do you have any idea the pain I feel every time a tear drops from your eyes? It hurts ______. It really hurts. “
His words ran like a shudder through your body. You had no idea how madly in love he was with you.
“Say that you love me too,” he whispered giving you a deep kiss on your neck.
“I love you too,” you whispered back. You hadn’t felt more comfortable in the longest time. Your soul was hungry for love and that’s all he was offering you.
“Would you be willing to go see a therapist?” he asked hesitantly, still not letting go of you. You nodded your head and tightened your arms around him. You were scared but if he was there, you were willing to give it a shot.
A little part of you started to feel alive again and it was all because of him…
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For all the beautiful girls out there who suffer from depression. Please don’t do this to yourself. If you need help, TALK to someone. Keeping it inside is like slowly killing yourself. Don’t do that.
I hope you guys like this!