Requested by anon
There was no point in looking at the clock again. You had done it enough times in the past 2 hours that now you could tell the time just by each tick. He’d said he was going to be there but your hope was fading away. You wanted to trust him, you really did but with all the recent happenings you didn’t know where your relationship with him stood. If he cared then why didn’t he show it? If he loved you then why didn’t he say it? You were equally guilty for never confronting him. There use to be times when you could say anything and everything to him. It hurt you that all of that was changing. What was more scary was that both of you knew everything was falling apart.
It all started the night he knocked on your apartment door half drunk. You didn’t ask questions. He didn’t bother explaining himself. Not the next day not even the day after. The silences grew but neither of you tried to mend the broken bond. Sometimes you just wanted to blurt it all out. Tell him how you really felt. Tell him how much he was hurting you. But on the other hand, you were scared he was going to run away and never look back. You loved him but the question was- Did he love you back?
There was a light tap on the door, not a knock but just a light tap announcing his arrival. You put on your fake smile, wiped the twinkling teas from your eyes and walked to the door.
“Hey,” he said upon seeing your face.
“Hi,” you replied swinging the door back and forth lightly.
“Are you ready?” he asked. A faint smile was plastered on his face.
“Ye.” You nodded.
“Let’s go,” he said already turning around. He was halfway to the stairs when he noticed that you hadn’t moved an inch. He turned around finding you looking into blank space, your hand hanging low and your eyes twinkling once again.
“__________ let’s go,” he said- this time with more emphasis.
“Ah ye,” you mumbled back loud enough for him to hear.
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“There’s a tornado warning for tonight,” he said taking a bite of his meal. You took a sigh of relief that he had made the first move to talk.
“Jinja!” you exclaimed under your breath. You might as well have not said it since your voice muffled into the noise of the other happy couples at the restaurant. Some were giggling while others blabbered. He looked up at you for a good minute scrutinizing your every move. How you gathered the food on your plate into one corner and then cut it into small pieces. How you stuck your fork into it and quickly put it in your mouth, munching on it with your mouth closed. Your eyes hadn’t left the plate since the minute, the food had been served. Before that, they had wandered to every corner of the restaurant except to the direction of his face. He wanted to ask you why you were acting like that. Why you had been acting like that for so long? He had started to wonder that you just didn’t care anymore and maybe deep down he didn’t either. It wasn’t the same like the first time he had met you. It was outside a small coffee shop on a rainy day. He didn’t have an umbrella and you very graciously offered yours. He rejected politely the first time but as the weather got worse and the clocked ticked faster than usual, he accepted it.
“Where do you have to go?” you asked him.
“Noraebang studios.. it’s aaa two blocks away,” he had replied.
“Oh that’s on my way,” you had said.
The next time you saw him was during lunch hours. He always sat at a corner table with a couple of friends cracking jokes, eating lunch and being silly. You were scared out of your wits the first time he caught you looking at him. After that it became quite normal. Both of you were quite surprised that you had been having lunch at the same place, same time for over 6 months and just then seeing each other.
The silence, awkward eye contacts finally came to an end when he walked up to your table and spontaneously asked you to dinner one night. “I’d love to,” you had replied trying your best to cover your bright red ears. And that was start of a beautiful new relationship. He introduced each other to your friends. Started going out every night. He used to come over, you used to stay at his place for the nights. Walks on the beaches, laying on the grass watching the stars, eating ice cream during snow and singing karaoke. In one of those moments you had fallen for him and he, for you.
And now seeing all that you two had built, falling apart had broken you from the inside. He felt the same way but just never had the right words to say. You had started to think he wouldn’t understand your worries. He had started to believe you had stopped loving him.
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The walk back home was more disturbing than the one to the restaurant. He tried to make small talk but you just didn’t have to heart to talk. He used to hold your hand and pull you into his arms while walking back but he was too hesitant to do that anymore.
“Are you going to go,” you asked entering the apartment.
“Ye.. I have work,” he replied picking up his bag. You heard his footsteps faint into the corridor but suddenly they stopped. It was as if he was waiting for you to say something. There in that moment you knew you had to tell him. You had to tell him that you couldn’t do it anymore. You heard him say your name as you ran into his arms and hugged him tightly. Tears gushed out of your eyes uninvited. He patted your head embracing you tightly.
“I can’t do this anymore…” you said without any hesitance.
“What,” he gasped- his grip loosening on you at the same time. You pulled back and looked straight into his eyes. It was the first time in almost 2 months. For a second you wanted to take back what you had said. Just looking into his eyes made you realize what a grave mistake you had made. He was looking at you the same way. Thinking what you were thinking. His lips parted giving your heart a slight boost that he was going to reject your proposal.
He didn’t..
How could he say something when he knew he didn’t mean it? It was true, he needed a break just like you did. He respected you. He couldn’t lie to you and so without saying a word, he slipped his hand out of yours. Your lips quivered and your hands shook .Your clenched your fist tightly to control your emotions, seeing him walk out of your life. Your eyes shut automatically as your ears heard the first sound of thunder. The weather outside was quiet like the condition of your heart at that time.
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2 years later in New York:
You stood under the shed of a small shop which was just big enough to keep you dry from the heavy rain. You had mentally cursed yourself a few hundred times for being cheap and not buying an umbrella. Life in New York wasn’t easy. You had to work three different jobs just to manage yourself. Nevertheless you liked it. You liked the fact that no one knew you there. No one questioned your past or asked you about your future plans. What would you tell them anyways when you yourself were unsure of everything.
“Do you want an umbrella?” someone asked.
“No ..thanky..” your words fell apart when you realized that the voice was very familiar to your ears. It was the same voice you had been longing to hear. You looked up and there he was standing right before you with the same faint smile on his lips. You felt a heavy lump in your throat. Your energy began to drain away. He took a step towards you but some workers from the store began to unload. Unload in heavy rain. Who does that? You shook your head, trying to forget that you had seen his face. You turned around and began to walk in the rain wiping the tears out of your eyes.
Then suddenly, two hands grabbed you and the next second you were dragged into an isolated corner of the street. He cupped your face in his hands, pushing your wet hair aside.
“Don’t run away..” he said. That’s all he needed to say for you to stay. Nothing more nothing less. He didn’t have to tell you that he had spent two years looking for you or that he was stupid for walking away that night. You understood it all, just like you understood everything he never said when the two of you were in love. Both of you were stupid for letting go off each other and you had realized it. Letting go wasn’t the solution. Staying together and talking about it was. 2 years of your life and his, had been wasted. But now that the two you were together again, you could finally make up for it. He kissed you repeatedly as if his lips had been longing to touch yours. The moment was so beautiful in its self that your stomach felt the butterflies just like the first time when he had kissed you. Nothing else mattered. Neither the rain nor the whispers of passersby’s. As long as he was with you everything was going to be fine.
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A little different from how BoA’s song ended but beautiful right? I hope you guys agree and like it.