Your Wish Is My Command

Secrets- [Chanyeol]

Requested by myoppamyoppa

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‘Taken by the soft wind to your world
You asked me brightly where I came from to your side
And I told you that It was a secret
Wherever we walk together
Will be paradise’

“Oh this song is so beautiful. I love it Channie..” you had said. Chanyeol lay on his bed remembering your words from a few years back. You used to be so cheerful. He missed that. He missed that smile you had. Even though it was for someone else, he wished things hadn’t changed. He would rather see you happy with someone else than be sad and alone, closing your heart to everyone.

***************************************************

“You know I don’t like walks on the beaches. Why did you bring me here?” you asked with annoyance. Chanyeol, who was walking beside you glanced at you for a quick second. It hurt him when you talked like that. He had been patient for a really long time.

“I just wanted to spend some time with you,” he mumbled under his breath. You looked at him from the corner of your eyes. It saddened you to see his disappointed face.  

“Aaaaa! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that,” you comforted him. He gave you a smile but his eyes were more focused on the vast beyond. “Did you want to talk about something?”

“Not really. I thought you’d like it out here,” he replied.

“I like it better when I’m in a library reading a book,” you said with a playful smile also leaning in towards him a little.

“We can do that next time,” he winked at you. The silence redeemed. Both you and him were thinking of what to say next. He had always had the same questions. He was just hesitant to ask them. You on the other hand never had anything to say.

Chanyeol began to whistle a tone you’d heard a long time ago. It brought back some hazy memories but you lacked the struggle to remember them. He hoped you would remember and say something but he was only more disappointed.

“__________,” he called your name.

“Hmmmm…”

Chanyeol hesitated a bit before asking, “Why don’t you like the beach?” – He already knew the answer. Your head shot up in his direction as you glared at him for a good minute. Your lips quivered. You tried to calm your shaking hand with great effort. It had been 6 months since they had left. For most, it’s not a long time to recover from such a big blow but you told yourself you were stronger. You could do it. So what if they betrayed you. You still loved them…

Chanyeol stood there waiting for a response. You looked away, forcing a smile on your face.

“I don’t know. It scares me sometimes… that’s why.”

“It didn’t scare you before…”

“When?” you asked.

“When you hung out with Mikey,” he said rather quickly. You clenched your fist, biting your lip at the same time.

“Aaaiiish! he always pushed me to go with him. It’s not like I liked it,” you said after a while making sure your face held a smile. Fake or real- it didn’t matter. Chanyeol scrutinized every detail of the change in your facial expressions. He knew well that you were lying to him. His curious self wanted to tell you everything he knew but he knew it would hurt you. He could never let that happen. He began to say something; instead his lips formed a bland smile. He had done that so many times that you had started to think he knew something. Something you had been denying this whole time.

“So… what do you wanna do now?” you asked.

“It seems to be getting cold. Let’s go have dinner somewhere,” Chanyeol said rubbing his arms for warmth. You did the same secretly wishing he had his jacket with you that he could offer.

*****************************************************

You sat in your tiny balcony staring off into space. The sky was calmer than usual that day. It wasn’t even that cold. Your body had begun to crave the usual light touches of wind. A few birds flew by but other than that nothing big was happening. Your fingers automatically began typing words to your next line. You had recently developed a love for writing because in a way it helped you heal your wounds. You could let out all your emotions without anyone knowing you were actually experiencing them.

and in a blink of an eye he shattered her world into pieces leaving her heartbroken forever…’ – wrote.

“You left the front door open again,” Chanyeol said sliding the balcony door.

“I know!” you replied keeping your eyes fixed at the screen.

“What are you writing?” he asked.

“Nothing,” you replied briefly quickly changing the screen. Chanyeol was losing his patience with you. He tried hard not to snap.

“I got something for you,” he said.

“What is it?” you asked.

Chanyeol revealed a bag he had been hiding behind him. He sat down on the chair beside you and handed the bag to you. You put your hand inside it to get a feel of the object. It was wrapped and rather big in size. You carefully took it out and began to unwrap it. Your sixth sense was telling you it was something you had been wanting in a long time. You guessed right- it was a music box. You had wanted one ever since you visited the old haming street near Seoul.

“Oh my God Channie… how did you..Where.. oh my goodness,” your mouth spit out silly words in utter surprise.

“Play it,” he said. You looked at him and then the music box in your hand not knowing what to do. Chanyeol raised his eyebrows signaling you to play it. With a slight head nod you began to play it. The tune was familiar. A little too familiar. You closed your eyes to be able to focus better.

“Do you remember?” he asked putting his hand on top of yours. You opened your eyes and looked a him. He seemed happy to see you smile.

“Of course…,” you laughed nervously. The tunes from the song (Angel –Exo K) were brining chills through your body. Chanyeol had first made you hear it but along the song were so many other memories attached that you thought he didn’t know about.  

“Thank you so much,” you said still forcing yourself to giggle to seem normal.

“Don’t thank me,” Chanyeol gave your hand a slight squeeze.

“Why shouldn’t I? You made me happy.. I should…thank..” you couldn’t even finish your sentence as tears began gushing out of your eyes. And there in that moment you knew you had to give in. The mask you had put on six months ago when they left had to be taken off. You had kept it inside you for so long that like water breaking through a reservoir all your feelings began to pour out. Repressing is never a good thing- you learnt that day.

Chanyeol on the other hand knew this was coming. He didn’t panic for one second. Instead he got up and pulled you up so he could hug you.

“Don’t cry,” he whispered.

“How can I not?” you yelled but your voice muffled through his shirt. You wanted to break away from him but he held you tightly, pressing your body against his. He wanted you to let it all out at once so you wouldn’t weep silently in the dark at night and at other times on cheerful days.

“Why did they do this to me?” you asked.

“He doesn’t deserve you ________,” he replied patting your head.

“Did she not think about my feelings for once? Why did they play with my heart like that. She knew I loved him. She was my best friend. How could she steal him from me like that? I …can’t do ..this anymore. I… she betrayed me…Channie…! I trusted her…”

The two of you stood under the darkening sky. Him comforting you while you let all your tears seep through his clothes. Your body started to numb as your energy drained out. Realizing that you were tired Chanyeol let you lose. You kept your eyes fixed on the ground. He lifted his hand to wipe the last traces of tears from your face. It was almost dry just like your eyes. You had cried for a long time.

“Let’s go inside,” he said. You didn’t answer. He took your hand and walked you to your room.

“I’m sorry you had to hear all of that,” you mumbled not making any eye contact. You were really embarrassed.

“__________,” he said your name softly. “Do you really think I didn’t know?”

“Huhh!” you gasped not understanding what he meant. He couldn’t possible know. There was no way.

“I’ve seen the way you looked at him. You loved him and that hurt me …. Because…I loved you, I still do and I always will.”

Revelations upon revelations were being revealed on you. You stood in shock as more shudders ran through your body. How could he love you? And most of all how could he know that you loved Mikey. You had loved him t such an extent that there was no returning from that state. Gina your best friend in the world, knew about and still she stole him from you. You were a fool not realize when they started to go out and then even announce their wedding. That was the day you knew you didn’t want to live anymore. Two people you loved the most had done the most horrible thing possible to you. You told yourself it should make you happy that they were happy but the fact that Gina knew you loved Mikey made you hate her. How could your own friend do that to you.

“You went on smiling to the world when they were getting married  but only I knew how you felt on the inside. Every time I take his name you always act like nothing stirs up inside you but only I know how you feel. Only me ________ only me. I can’t see you suffer like this. He isn’t worth all of this.,” he stopped for a little bit. “Look at what you’ve done to yourself. I miss that heartfelt laughter and the bright smile. I know how hurt you are but…”

“You weren’t supposed to know this,” you cut him. “No one was supposed to know this.”

“_________,”

“No Chanyeol! Just go! … I’ve already spoiled things enough. I don’t want you to try fixing this. Leave before I say something and hurt you too.”

“Why are you blocking everyone from reaching your heart? Why have you locked it behind bars. Let yourself feel again.”

“6 months is not enough time for that.”

“I know it isn’t but I’m going to try making it better for you.”

“You cannot Chanyeol. You cannot. What part of this do you not understand? You are not Mikey. You are Chanyeol. I am not in love with you! I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM!,” you yelled. You had completely taken him by surprise. Even you didn’t know how it all started. When you started getting angry and now you were yelling at the guy who was only telling you how he felt about you.

He stood there waiting for you to say something but you had already said enough. There was nothing else to say. You looked away to escape his teary but questioning eyes.

****************************************************

A month had passed since the last time you saw Chanyeol. When he left that day- he had left heartbroken. Maybe even more heartbroken than you. It wasn’t just your words that had hurt him but also the fact that you were suffering alone. He was just trying to help. Even if it meant not being loved in return. He was ready to do anything for you, if you would realize that.

At first you didn’t think about it much but as more days went by you started missing him. You had gotten so used to him always being around you that you didn’t value any of his efforts. He was only trying to help. He had kept it in him for so long- longer than you had been in love with Mikey.

You would often remember all the silly things he did and it would make you sad that he stopped coming. You felt guilty. It was your fault for pushing him away. Cleaning your room one day, you found the bag he had given you the music box in. You had very carefully placed on the top of the bookshelf. You stared at it for a good minute picturing his face in your head.

“What have I done?” you said to yourself. With that, you ran out of the apartment towards a direction you should have gone a long time ago!

*************************************************

Just as you were about to knock on the door, it opened. It looked like he was going to some sort of a formal party. He looked nice…

“___________,” Chanyeol murmured your name.

“Why’d you stopped coming…” you asked. His gaze was too intense for you to return. You looked away. He didn’t say anything. Instead he pulled you into a hug. He had missed you- a lot more than you had missed him.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled.

“Don’t be.”

“I don’t want to give you false hopes.”

“Don’t worry about it”

“But..”

“I can wait,” he said closing the argument. He nuzzled on your neck like a little puppy who had been waiting for that moment in forever. You were finally in his arms and this time with all your consent. He could never let this chance slip away. You on the other hand were still unsure but you knew you could trust him. He had never let you down before so why would he ever in the future. Chanyeol’s heart was so tender. Anyone would be lucky to be loved by him.

“Thank-you,” you said. He patted your back telling you, you didn’t have to say that.

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-Sighs! 9 more to go! I can do this. Keep a look out for the ask box opening- it will be very soon. ;) 

posted 5 years ago with 40 notes

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